Spam Spammer Gifts

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

Meet the People of the Internet

Your computer is not fully protected...

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

Spam.

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

Pandora's Inbox

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

Internet crap.

"Mmm, Spam."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

"Junk mail."

Spam on Mousetrap

"I create spam for the internet."

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

The eMailman's Creed

"You mean all this time everything was really a screw?"

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'