Spacetime Humorist Pillows

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Save Our Universe

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

Small laughing space creatures.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'