Space Wonderer T-Shirts

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Alien David statue

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'But what is the universe for?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Alien Snowmen

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The flies have landed.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Marry me astronaut

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

How am I abducting?

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

How did THAT get there? Wash me.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

Friends and enemies of the Earth.