Space Investigator Gifts

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

Alien David statue

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'But what is the universe for?'

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

Head over Hooves

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Alien Snowmen

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

The flies have landed.

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

How am I abducting?

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'