Spa Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm just worried the knots are the only thing holding me together."

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

'This won't hurt.'

'I always use lots of oil when I give a massage...oops!'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

Who knew this place had a hot tub.

"Man, this is just the perfect temperature!"

'It would seem that grooming one another is very important in maintaining social order.'

"They've sold out of massages, dear, but I've booked us a romantic couples' colonoscopy."

'...but on the bright side...can't you just feel your pores opening?'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Fish Pedicure

Colonic irrigation: Cancelled due to hosepipe ban.

At The Turkish Bath

Spa

'I hoped retirement would look like this.'

'Oh, thank god, a hot tub... My back is literally killing me.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'Hydrotherapy and a massage... now THAT'S what I call a great spa!'

'I've been wallowing in mud my whole life and look at me.'

Beauty treatment for Paramecium

'Okay, so you didn't lose any weight at our spa - at least you're well marbled.'

"Too hard?"

"Now, dear, we;ll just forget all about Hitler and Mussolini and all our nasty old cares."

Spa day

I was at the beauty parlour for four hours...and that was just for the quote!

The Chameleon Spa

Health spa...

Brow Threading

"Is this endless whining about my love life too much?"

"Thanks, but a free sauna session would be wasted on me: I can't really sweat..."

The Cat Spa

"To be honest, it's an improvement if anything..."