Spa Day Planner Gifts

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Loofah Lady

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

Complete Makeover

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Odd Spas

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

Being Pampered.

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

Foot Massage

The label on the bottle did say 'natural and organic ingredients', but THIS could not be right.

"She massages egos."

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Soak too long in the tub, dear?'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'We can remove the hair from your back. Yes, your husband's back, too!'

Health spa workers desk tray: In / Chill out.

"I hope he doesn't hear me sizzling."

Clock in, Clock out.

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'