Soviet Nostalgia Seeker Gifts

Konstantin Chernenko

"That's not you talking, Justin, that's the sugar talking."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

"Cool, jigsaw box!"

Flava Superba

'You take that back! My mom is too a virgin.'

"I once experienced childlike wonder. . . but it was just my anti-depressants kicking in."

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'It's tough doing what's right when you see what's left.'

''To listen to the sea, press 1...'

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"The inflatable pool is a harsh mistress."

'I'll count to ten thousand: Go and hide...'

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

'My first tattoo...'

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

'Creative right?'

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

'The Russians seem to be retaliating. This one is being pulled by eight tiny yaks.'

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

"Yes, I can see where being Wendy's invisible friend all those years, and then her growing up could cause separation anxiety."

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

'Their disability not withstanding she severed their tails.'

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

The architect speaks: '...I went back to my roots...this house is based on a drawing I did when I was six.'

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."