Southern Storyteller Pillows

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

Country Music Awards

Redheaded Step-Twins.

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

Punch&Judy/Counselling

'Gee, Grandpa, you sure have a way with animals.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

A Salmon Lie

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'Your barn door's open.'

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

Mega Construction Company: Paving Paradise and Putting Up Parking Lots for Over 50 Years. Deal with it.

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

"What? You've never been to Waffle House? I guess it is kind of a regional thing."

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

A Redneck Cupid with a shotgun about to fire open a Boy and Girl redneck couple.

'If you hold this shell to your ear you can hear the ARRRGH!'

"Daddy, the wave ate my sand castle!"

Boarding House Kitchen

Hadleyville Has-Beens

statue in park: 'Arnold P. Rossiter, a local boy who went to the big city and made it big... and now he's back home, flipping burgers, just like we always said he would.'

"Hello Billy, how is your mother?"