Southern California Fan Gifts

'It wasn't just my own country -- I was without honor everywhere until I found Southern California!'

Holiday time.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Boomerang cow.

William Faulkner

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'Pull...'

"What a way to go."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Raging Bull on Ice

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

'It's a shame you lost every last ball in the rough, Ed, but we're glad to have you back.'

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Tenafly International Film Festival

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

Gunswinger

"Let's welcome Elaine back from her two weeks in Hawaii and hope this passes soon..."

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

Football Countdown.

'Mr Jonah is no longer with us. Mr Jonah was swallowed by a whale.'

Shark Surfing the Waves.

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

Weapons of mass destruction.

Penguins - one is skating.

'This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'