Southern California Fan Gifts

'It wasn't just my own country -- I was without honor everywhere until I found Southern California!'

Holiday time.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Boomerang cow.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'Pull...'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"What a way to go."

'It's a shame you lost every last ball in the rough, Ed, but we're glad to have you back.'

Raging Bull on Ice

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Tenafly International Film Festival

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

Gunswinger

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

"Let's welcome Elaine back from her two weeks in Hawaii and hope this passes soon..."

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

Football Countdown.

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

'Mr Jonah is no longer with us. Mr Jonah was swallowed by a whale.'

Shark Surfing the Waves.

Penguins - one is skating.

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

"I don't think the world is ready yet for a cowboy impersonator, Dolores."