Sourdough Scholars Gifts

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'Hard to follow...'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Romans.

"How are we on bread?"

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

The Remote Olympics

A dog reads a newspaper

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

Brothers Grimm

"Thanks for the starter!"

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

"The sourdough starter says it still believes Covid was a hoax."

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

'After the wizard gave me the brain,of course, I felt like I should use it.'

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

'Are they called 'pyramids' because the Pharaoh used a pyramid scheme to finance them?'

A scathing stream of invective, wending its way, inevitably, to the sea.

'Hunters are abundant, so we're offering grants in gathering.'

Trick or Treaters: What ARE you wearing?

"Now, which one of the Thousand Islands is this?"

"Hi, do you have a moment to discuss annoying people who stop you in the street?"

Shopping in Hell We don't take credit cards..

"And that explains 'non-fungible tokens'."

Summer of 2020

'Thousand Island.'

'Help! As a contrarian I invested in rotary and supersized phones.'

'I'll never get out of the third grade -- They keep raising the retirement age.'

"I was on the cutting edge, but I got too many paper cuts, so I quit."

"If they insist we dumb-down the classes, I suggest we award them a dumbed-down diploma."

'Students excuses through out the ages.' A cave kid says, 'My dinosaur ate my homework,' a 1950s kid says, 'My dog ate my homework,' and a kid today says, 'My computer ate my homework.'

"Honey, you forgot to feed the starter!"