Soul Food Philosopher T-Shirts

"How can you be out of wings?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Carpe pizza"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Avocado Timeline

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

The Politics of Food.