Sorority Sister Gifts

'I'm with the Campus Police, ma'am... we had a tip than someone in this dorm may be reading for pleasure.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Larry's used art

The Busy Gardener

Domestic Superheroes!!

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

Computer Room.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Police Feline Unit