Sorcery Skeptic Pillows

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"And now from downtown!"

House of Wishful Thinking

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

Actual Results May Vary

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'