Sorcery Skeptic Prints

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Cheeze Wiz.

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

House of Wishful Thinking

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"And now from downtown!"

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Actual Results May Vary