Skeptic Of The Supernatural Pillows

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'My dead mother's been trying to contact one of those TV psychics...She's so gullible!'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Crystal Ball Plug

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

House of Wishful Thinking

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

Actual Results May Vary

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

'You've convinced me. I'm becoming an atheist.'