Sophisticated Pet Parents Pillows

The sophisticate.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog Walking Services

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

Geeks and their dogs.

"Dog toys are really getting high tech."

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Text!"

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

Remote-controlled cat flap.

"Invisible fences, voiced activated pet doors, automatic pet dispensers, how's an old dog supposed to keep up with all this new technology."

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

Dog at computer screen initiates a search for master's slippers.

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."

'We really should get him chipped.'

Bad Dog

"He's my discomfort animal."

"Welcome home, oh, and that automatic cat feeder....niiiice!"

'Alice, you're spoiling that cat!'

"I call it male cat supremacy."

'I'm declawed, but I found an app that'll scratch up the furniture for me.'

Functional pets

'If I had a cellphone you wouldn't have to whistle all the time.'

"This is great. I'm chasing a virtual squirrel."