Sonnet Slinger T-Shirts

'I'd like to renew my poetic license!'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Meet the author

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Freedom

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Oog is an expert at throwing stones at things - he's a "rock-it" scientist.

Poetry repairman

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Poetry Buff.

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

Pianist-boxer

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

William Shakespeare

So you've lost your journalism job. Yep and my freelance contracts. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Free distribution of information is driving publishers out of business. I can't compete against thousands of free blogs. Twenty years I spent learning to be a professional journalist and I'm a dinosaur. What'd you say? I was reading Gawker. Shoot me.

"I just want to say thanks for getting me into this writing group."

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

Skywriter's Block

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'