Songsmith Gifts

"Hmm. What rhymes with layoffs?"

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Meet The Author"

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Edgar Allen Poe

"She's been so creative lately."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Cut Price

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Backfire

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.