Song Singer Pillows

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Omara Portuondo

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

A Fairytale Update

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"That is an outrageous slur."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"