Song Revisionist Gifts

"You say snowman, I say snow woman. So, let's compromise by singing 'Frosty the Snow Person'."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

Study more to pass more tests.

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

"So the rumors are true-1967 is making a comeback."

Old songs made new

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

Hang it all; let's be gay. Come and find the phonograph.

Solar Flares