Song Creator Gifts

A song that no one's heard.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Lennon and McCartney.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

George Michael

"This next one's another oldie."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Michael Jackson

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

New music conference

Bryan Ferry

Guitar Man.

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."