Solo Practitioner Gifts

"So would Chuck Norris be impressed with my kick or mad about the bag?!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Managing a major project in these challenging times requires IMAGINATION, the FIRST thing I'd like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

A man with a rake on a desert island

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

Solo North pole expedition - 'Bugger!'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

'I started freelancing because I didn't like working for other people. Of course, they didn't like me working for them either.'

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

'I'll have my people call your people. Wait a minute, that won't work. I'm a sole proprietor.'

The triangle virtuoso flies to his next performance.

"All I have is tofu."

"My one man play is now in the west end. I play Lee Harvey Oswald."

"I don't even have a relationship with a bank."

Introvert Career Faire.

"The GOOD news is that your promotion puts you in charge of the team, the BAD news is you ARE the team."

"Table for a retirement part of one, please."

"We're taking separate vacations this year. Arthur is going on a ego trip and I'm going to Hawaii."

Violinist

Card night for introverts.

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'

"Not fair, he's got a bigger cushion."

'I booked a table for one under the name of Narcissus.'

A fuzzy monster plays ping pong with himself

Actually, I'm not expecting a date to show up. When I ordered a beer with two straws, I was being sarcastic. And I was being sarcastic when I put them in.

"Thanks for the invite, but I prefer to collaborate by myself."

'Don't get your hopes up. In private practice, malt whisky and havana cigars mean you're terminal.'