Sofa Stylists T-Shirts

"For me? How sweet!"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Bad hair day!

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'She's so put together!'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Shoe addict.

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I don't like your application."

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

'She'll never look for me here.'

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

Dolores is so avant garde.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"The couch hates me Jane!"

Vivienne Westwood

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

'I think there's been some mistake...'