Sofa Sentinel Gifts

'I'd invite you in but we've got this new cream sofa and matching rug!'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

My comfort zone

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

The new fall content.

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'Ed's always been a bit of a dreamer.'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'We added on to the couch.'

Chillaxing!

"She died doing what she loved."

Plein Air Painting: Quarantine Edition

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'When we got married, I said I'd move mountains for you...I never said anything about a sofa!'

"Thanks to technology, I can be unemployed no matter where I live!"

'Plus, you get to keep any change you happen to find under the cushions.'

"I'm looking for an arrangement that says, 'Sorry about the sofa.'"

'Let me know if you are uncomfortable.' (cat on owner's head)

'The shame of that Garbo woman-wearing MY dress!'

"I remember when you used to hold a scepter instead of that remote."

'He played every minute of three football matches on TV today.'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

"I came to a sports doctor because I fell off the sofa cheering for a 'March Madness' basketball team."