Socratic Sipper T-Shirts

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I forget to drink."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

Liquidity Lunch

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"Sipsies?"

'Boozer's Week.'

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

Men's Parallel Bars

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade