Society Savvy Pillows

"What a small world! We're rich too."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Online Dating

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"We thought this was more realistic."

"#BeCurious"

Victorian Selfie

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

If Watergate Happened Now the Press Would Be Too Busy Reporting on Tweets

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"How'd I find you? I followed you on Twitter."

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

Afghanistan intervention.

The Guardian: Portland Republican says party should use militia groups after racial attack

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

Woke and wonderful

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"Emojis fail me."

Pole vaulter uses his pole as a selfie stick while he gets ready to jump.

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"I'm on Facebook, dear. Do we want to friend this revolution?"

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Yeah, I do the same thing – sniff their posts but never contribute. Dog lurkers.

You want my support for your reform bill, eh? — what's it worth to you?

"I can't tell if these are vacation pictures or influencer shots." "Is there really a difference?"