Society Satire Fans Gifts

'I'm not eating any of that foreign muck...'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

End the Winter Blues

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"You calm down."

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Greed.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

In my day, they didn

Telekinetics on strike...

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

"So, how's your scary movie?"

"Is your dog friendly?"

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?