Society Pundit Gifts

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Hate Platforms

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Where does it all end up?

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

Obama Healthcare.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'It's cheaper than gas.'