Societal Norms Enthusiast Gifts

Chimney sweep asking for shelter under a lady's umbrella

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Keep it 2 metres people!"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

What are YOU looking at!?!?

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

'So this is what you do while I'm away.'

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

'Edgar, I'm thinking of stepping beyond the bounds of good taste.'