Societal Norm Skeptic Gifts

'I see we have an average income, we're an average age, and our house is an average size. Nelson, I want a divorce.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

Man in top hat at pedestrian crossing, sign says 'Don't dance'.

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

'So this is what you do while I'm away.'

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

Transvestite wonders which toilet to go to,male or female

On the beach

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

"I had a dream again last night, where I discovered I wasn't so entrenched after all."

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."