Societal Norm Skeptic Gifts

'I see we have an average income, we're an average age, and our house is an average size. Nelson, I want a divorce.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

Man in top hat at pedestrian crossing, sign says 'Don't dance'.

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

'So this is what you do while I'm away.'

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

Transvestite wonders which toilet to go to,male or female

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."

On the beach