Societal Expectation Analyst Pillows

Nobody keeps his personal life to himself anymore phobia. 'Seems like everone's coming out of the closet!'

Before the riots/after the riots

"Come in, minion."

World Financial Mafia

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"It looked better on pinterest."

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

"Meritocracy worked for my grandfather, it worked for my father, and it's working for me."

'It's your debt to society.'

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

'Well, what did you expect?'

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

Sign says: 'Please Help. Downshifting'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Yummy Mummy.

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

Man giving a writer an honest and insulting appraisal of his article.

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

'The NRA does not support even the mildest gun control! We don't blame guns, we blame society! The violent culture! Movies!! Restrictive gun laws! Video games! The media!!'

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

Progress

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."

We'll be back with more of man's inhumanity to man...