Societal Expectation Analyst Pillows

Nobody keeps his personal life to himself anymore phobia. 'Seems like everone's coming out of the closet!'

Before the riots/after the riots

"Come in, minion."

World Financial Mafia

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"It looked better on pinterest."

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

"Meritocracy worked for my grandfather, it worked for my father, and it's working for me."

'It's your debt to society.'

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

How long have you let this unhealthy obsession with family and friends interfere with your celebrity-watching?

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

Psychiatry. My dad doesn't appreciate how hard it is to follow in his footsteps

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

Not Dead yet

'Well, what did you expect?'

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

Sign says: 'Please Help. Downshifting'

Yummy Mummy.

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

Progress

'The NRA does not support even the mildest gun control! We don't blame guns, we blame society! The violent culture! Movies!! Restrictive gun laws! Video games! The media!!'

Man giving a writer an honest and insulting appraisal of his article.

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"Up next we interview the big lottery winner, but first, let's tamp down your envy and greed by looking all the lives totally devastated by winning the lottery."

We'll be back with more of man's inhumanity to man...