Socially Curious Pillows

"There she is! Don’t be nervous. Just be yourself, walk over there and sniff her."

I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie. It just sounds horrible. It takes all the best parts of it: Seeing someone for the first time

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"But what if this is all there is?"

The Book Lover

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"If you put little crosses on your sevens people will think you're French."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

Punch Initials - O

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

'Last chance to give for next 400 yards.'

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

Mobile.

Person welcomes alien to Earth, and is consequently zapped.

Chinese man has apple land on his head - which inspires him to invent gunpowder.

The NHS - 'I'm afraid years of neglect and abuse have left her in terminal decline.'

The Sound Of One Hand Clapping.

Self-discovery of a gadfly.

'I'm going on a fact-finding mission at great personal risk to a land of strange beliefs and alarming rituals. It's called 'beyond the beltway.''

'All may have sinned, Reverend, but all have not fallen short.'

'Hey!! Everything on the menu is in Chinese.' 'We are at a Chinese restaurant

"The world's oldest profession?"

"Even here in Tibet?"

"So, what would you do about the Taliban, Channel Immigrants and Extinction Rebellion, eh?"

"Not so loud, sweetie. We're in Europe."

"I don't know anything about the bell curve, but I say heredity is everything."

"He looks very promising—but let's see how he does on the written test."

'Mars is known as the 'red planet'? Does it have debt problem like ours?'

"What part of Canada that I know nothing about are you from?"