Spiritually Curious Pillows

"Milt, I'm beginning to think that you illness is a disharmony of life energy."

Man passes a nun sitting on a park bench reading a magazine entitled "Bride of Christ".

'All may have sinned, Reverend, but all have not fallen short.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr. Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with our bank chaplain."

The Sound Of One Hand Clapping.

'But that was in a previous life!'

'These are plenty complicated enough for now -- why don't we save the Trinity stuff for later?'

'Goopta's philosophy is that you should always take the path of least resistance.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Bible Study - Today's Lesson Adam & Eve

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Tiny Visions

"All we have left is standing room only."

Astral Projection

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

My God, I need to fart.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'