Socially Awkward Traveler Gifts

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

Airplane Mode.

Injured backpacker.

Mark's new invention worked great for long car rides. '...And then she said,and then I said, and then she said to me...'

Introverted Chair

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"Yeah, there were lots of flowers, so I had a good feed. It was rather awkward though: it was a funeral..."

"Well, would you look at that. . . it's been below zero for two weeks back home."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

Communication on a bus

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

'I hate networking.'

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

Babel Construction Co.

Mt Rushmore south side viewing platform

"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

Learn from your mistakes...this is the last time I let you talk me into a double date.

"I never know what to do with my hands at a party"

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

In the embarrassment cemetery

"Pack your bags and cancel your plans. The neighbors invited us to dinner and I told them we'd be out of town."

'Sorry, I never know what to do with my hands in social situations.'

"I think you're in the wrong line. You've always got something to say."

"Madame, I am disabled! Yesterday, I lost my smartphone."

'I don't like crowds.'

"I don't think Bob has quite got the hang of the fist bump."

'I won't be sociable, I won't be ....'

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 77. Give a bike ride to a friend who's way bigger than you.