Socially Awkward Survivalist Gifts

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? It's been a little while since I read a social cue."

'Thank-you God.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

Introverted Chair

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

Man looks worried, as his fellow castaway reads book: 'Cannibalism for Dummies'.

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

Shy Man at Party

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

'I hate networking.'

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

'Many creatures have adapted beautifully to the harsh life of the desert' - 'If I survive one more day...' 'It's like a furnace here.'

typical flight animals, always on the alert and ready to run: Antelopes and Jimmy Floethoober.

Man on a desert island uses fish bones to hold up a hammock.