Social Soirée Specialist T-Shirts

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

Sloaney Pony.

'A cheeky red?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Children's Party

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Whine and cheezed party."

Glyndebourne

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

'How about this for the masked ball?'

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

"I miss diving into a mosh pit."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"Who do you think you're fooling, Henry, smelling the cork and tasting the wine? The only wine you ever buy comes in a box!"

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Let's not forget one thing—theirs is California money."

"Apparently, there is a difference between red wine and red wine vinegar."

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Yes, I do find motherhood fulfilling. However, I find being a sales Vice-President even more fulfilling.'

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

A Trying Moment.

Speed Dating

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'