Outdoor Soiree Specialist T-Shirts

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

Sloaney Pony.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Beach Barbecue

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Canape?

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

Shakespeare in the Park: "To pee, or not to pee..."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Apparently summer's going to start next month.

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

Beer Garden Kit

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Sparklers

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

Barry's new George Foreman Grill warned him anytime the meat was being overcooked.

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

Cocktailgating. . . .

"I heard you had a little problem with the law."

"Did you forget to tell anyone to water the garden while we were away?"