Social Smoother Pillows

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Liquidity Lunch

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"Sipsies?"

'You're not interrupting anything...the four of us are just sitting around before dinner...Barbara, me and our two phones.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Happy hour.

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'The internet has made me a more critical thinker. I'm critical of everything I see on it.'

Mixing Business and Pleasure

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

'Are you a good mixer?'

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

The Icebreaker

Men's Parallel Bars

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."

"Finish every drop - the 5 P.M. cocktail is the most important drink of the day."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

"This one looks promising... likes sushi, long winter nights and chilling out in large groups."

19th Hole.

'How do you do? I'm your wife's husband by a previous marriage.'