Social Skill Juggler Pillows

"Would you prefer me to hover over you silently or awkwardly try to make small talk?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Football

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

A woman watches football on her computer.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Education Guidance

'As editor, your first job will be to rewrite your resume.'

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

The Emeril Isle

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'I like to stay connected 247.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

'Gloria hates sports bars. Guys always make a pass at her.'

A writer writing humour and tragedy at the same time.

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

Unicyclist painting a ceiling,

"Just because I'm your boss, doesn't mean we can't be friends, loser."

Mange tout or man get out

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Grumphie and frijol yields an unpleasant aubade.'

'I'm sometimes right and I'm sometimes wrong. A positive attitude on your part is to agree with me in both cases.'

'What? Paint roses - with my back?'

I think you put it off long enough.