Social Session Seeker Gifts

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I know. I miss him, too."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'You have a friend request.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

'Why so stony-faced?'

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

"Are you talking to me?"

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

The baseball players psychiatrist.

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

Social Networking Explained.

Man to patient on couch: 'I'd like to help, but I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm an upholsterer.'

'And this one for handling tough questions from congress...'

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

"I would like some facebook friends for Christmas."

Silent Body Language

"Waiter, our son is a tasteless schmuck!"

'I must be going. Shawn is getting restless.'

'Hello, 911? It's my husband! I don't know what's wrong with him. He said there's nothing on TV and he just wants to talk!'

"What do women really want?

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

"It suddenly occurred to Colin that his online dating relationship may not have been with a human being. . ."

Fear of commitment.

Gambler's Anonymous - "What are the odds on my recovery?"