Social Scenester Gifts

The Middle-School Dance

'First, a disclaimer....still wanna dance?'

World Tour.

Theatre Crowd

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'Don't worry about the condition of the pitch, I've got my best goat working on it.'

"Chad is doing product placement on the Simpson trial."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'Get real Dot Com'

"I really like smart women."

Bad Hare Day

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Norman wondered why business was slow, until a friend told him of his famous namesake.

Sure, this is singles bar. I'm single, Roscoe here is single...

'Oh great! Look who's here. Like, we have a chance with these two girls now.'

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'What'll it be, cowboy?'

'A little bird told me, and another little bird verified it.'

Give that woman a Pink Squirrel! Give that man a black eye.

'I've seen you before and, right now, I'm hoping like crazy that it wasn't on a picture in the post office.'

'Don't look now but I think we've wandered into a plie bar.'

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

"Here comes those birds you pulled last night, stout and bitter."

They're mostly harmless

Return from a Suburban Party

"Let me try — I speak bartender."

Anger management pub.

Hotel Mini Bar

"I used to be in advertising. Remember 'Buy this, you morons'? That was mine."

"If the Webers invite us to their vegan potluck dinner, I found an excuse we haven't used yet."

"She's out at the moment. But, if you'd like to leave any malicious gossip, I'll make sure she gets it."

"I like our place in the country, but the only dogs I enjoy hanging out with there are also up from the city."

'Gross! That guy is letting his dog lick him right on the mouth!'

"No, thanks. I'm just here for the nuts."