Social Scene Sourpuss T-Shirts

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Liquidity Lunch

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

Happy hour.

"Sipsies?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

"What's the fun of smelling the Bougainvillea in paradise if I don't smell the envy on Facebook?"

"I really like smart women."

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

Men's Parallel Bars

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

Bad Hare Day

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

Join me in a cosmopolitan?

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."

'Oh great! Look who's here. Like, we have a chance with these two girls now.'

'Hold on! Now I remember, you swirl the wine first.'

"If I had it to do all over again I wouldn't change much—maybe part my hair on the other side."

Wine and Books Bar.

"Finish every drop - the 5 P.M. cocktail is the most important drink of the day."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

Sure, this is singles bar. I'm single, Roscoe here is single...

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'