Social Scene Stars T-Shirts

Return from a Suburban Party

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

"What's the fun of smelling the Bougainvillea in paradise if I don't smell the envy on Facebook?"

"I really like smart women."

Bad Hare Day

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

'First, a disclaimer....still wanna dance?'

Sure, this is singles bar. I'm single, Roscoe here is single...

'Oh great! Look who's here. Like, we have a chance with these two girls now.'

"Thank you for coming into the studio tonight, your story is truly a fascinating one, however I've decided our time would be better spent reviewing my meteoric rise to celebrity status within this television network."

Touch Gig

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

The Middle-School Dance

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

Give that woman a Pink Squirrel! Give that man a black eye.

"Ladies and gentlemen...closing time. Or should Just say 'last call'?"

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

'Don't look now but I think we've wandered into a plie bar.'

Social Media

They're mostly harmless

Does Twig ever hang out with friends? Of course. She's with them now. She's tweeting Emily, texting Ingrid and scanning Jonah's, Pete's and Ryan's Facebook pages. How friendly!

'Can I get you something short, but sweet?'

"Here comes those birds you pulled last night, stout and bitter."