Social Rule Satirist Pillows

Latest science behind social distancing advice

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

The prying mantis,

"Yes, one is a dog."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

Inhospitality tent.

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"God help us, it's that guy."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"All the better to ignore you with."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Wine tasters...

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Pizzas

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

Planet of the Ants