Social Roles Analyst Gifts

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

"Now there's a relationship that's working!"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

World Financial Mafia

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

"In our little socioeconomic group, I've always taken care of the socio and John's done the economic."

"He appears to be evolving differently to us!"

'No my husband wasn't there for the birth and I was only there 'cos I had to be!'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

Abstraction and recognition

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

How long have you let this unhealthy obsession with family and friends interfere with your celebrity-watching?

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

"Mom, Dad, I've been meaning to tell you for a while now...I feel like a 'gatherer' trapped in a 'hunter's' body."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

Underwear Man and his disgruntled sidekick Laundry Woman

"It's amazing how the captures one's true, inner self."

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

"I married a girl with two mums and ended up with two mothers-in-law."