Social Proofers Gifts

"Let's just invade the picnic, stay for five minutes, and leave."

A young Don King

Interior design trends for parents....

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Quality Control

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Ironing Punctuation

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'Do it write the first time.'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.