Social Norms Challenger Pillows

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

Victorian woman at a bar.

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

'How much do you weigh?'

"Damn silly sign!"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

'Mother! Would you stop referring to Charles as a latchkey husband!'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

Man in top hat at pedestrian crossing, sign says 'Don't dance'.

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

'I've lost all my inhibitions.'

In a bittersweet moment, Bill realizes he isn't actually the last person left on earth.'

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

'So this is what you do while I'm away.'

"Please scream inside your heart"

"It's all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms I've included a 20% tip."

'Just so you know: If this elevator breaks down, I have no problems cannibalizing your body for my survival.'