Social Networking Skeptic Pillows

'So I looked at your Facebook page...oh man...there's no way you're getting this job!'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

Obsession with the Internet.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

Chasebook

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Mr. Smithdon's at his desk, but he's not really there....He's somewhere out there in cyberspace!'

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

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