Social Network Skeptic Pillows

"Being falsely accused on social media has left my life largely unchanged."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Down With Wikipedia

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

#notblessed

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"And me without a Twitter account."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

Social media and privacy