Social Network Skeptics Gifts

Social media and privacy

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Rare Books

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

Facelook

#notblessed

Down With Wikipedia

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."